So far, choosing a band to play at the reception has been the most difficult part of wedding planning (finding sites for the ceremony and reception was actually suprisingly painless, the rabbi was a no brainer, cake shopping was a blast, dress shopping was labor-intensive but not frustrating and we got some Camacho Cigars out of the deal, and through a bit of searching and asking for recommendations we found an awesome photographer and an equally awesome videographer).
It’s particularly difficult for a few reasons:
- Most bands don’t [need to] advertise. They get their business through word of mouth or by people hearing them at weddings they attend. For those of us who have been to very few weddings in Seattle (and don’t have many friends who were married here) this is hard.
- By definition, most wedding bands play really crappy music. In fact, I don’t think you’re allowed to call yourself a wedding band unless your repertoire consists of songs that anyone born after 1970 hates.
- Hiring a non-“wedding” band is an option, but has proven to be a more expensive option. And I have this fear that a band that doesn’t generally play weddings won’t do a great job at the emcee role…
The repertoire factor is one of the hardest ones. Kenny and I attended a beautiful wedding last year. We had a lot of fun there, but we each noticed that the other would cringe with almost every song that the band started playing. When we got home, we started a “blacklist” (not for our own wedding, of course, but for some hypothetical wedding that either of us might have if we ever got married). Not surprisingly, the blacklist had a few wedding “favorites” on it:
- Brick House
- Play that Funky Music White Boy
- YMCA
- Freak Out
- I Will Survive
- You Can’t Hurry Love
- RESPECT
- I Got You Babe
- What I Like About You
Any many many many more. I don’t think the fact that we hate these songs makes us music snobs. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to want a band to play covers of a few songs written after 1980 instead of these old recycled “songs that will get people of all ages up and dancing.” With one of the bands we were talking to, we even got to the point of creating a mix CD, and asking them to learn some of the songs on it (and as you might have guessed, we didn’t get too far in the discussions with them before they told us to take a hike — yes, they rejected us).
Since then, we’ve gotten a few more leads (the best ones so far have been recommended by our photographer and our videographer), and we might be closing in on one (we’re going to check them all out before we leave for South America). I sure hope that one of them works out — I’ll be very glad when this part of the process is over.
Too late for the wedding likely, but this list of top 200 love songs has REALLY good stuff.
I compiled the 2*100 song lists together for quick view..
100. The One I Love – R.E.M.
99. I Will Always Love You – Whitney Houston
98. If You Don’t Know Me By Now – Harold Melvin & The Blue Notes or Simply Red
97. Sweet Child O’ Mine – Guns ‘n Roses
96. The Lady In My Life – Michael Jackson
95. The Secret Garden (Sweet Seduction Suite) – Quincy Jones
94. Everytime You Go Away – Paul Young
93. All Cried Out – Lisa Lisa & Cult Jam w/Full Force
92. Crash Into Me – Dave Matthews Band
91. Never Say Goodbye – Bon Jovi
90. Unchained Melody – The Righteous Brothers
89. Drive – The Cars
88. Get Here – Oleta Adams
87. The Heart Of The Matter – Don Henley
86. Can’t Turn Back The Years – Phil Collins
85. True Colors – Cyndi Lauper
84. Let’s Chill – Guy
83. My, My My – Johnny Gill
82. I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles) – The Proclaimers
81. On My Own – Patti LaBelle & Michael McDonald
80. Into The Mystic – Van Morrison
79. Sara Smile – Daryl Hall & John Oates
78. No More Lonely Nights – Paul McCartney
77. For The First Time – Kenny Loggins
76. Uninvited – Alanis Morissette
75. ? Seasons Of Loneliness – Boyz II Men
74. Ain’t No Sunshine – Bill Withers
73. Voyage To Atlantis – The Isley Brothers
72. A Thin Line Between Love & Hate – The Persuasions
71. “I Can’t Tell You Why – The Eagles
70. Cherish The Day – Sade
69. When You Were Mine – Prince
68. Outside Your Door – Me’shell N’degeocello
67. All I Want Is You – U2
66. Just The Way You Are – Billy Joel
65. Distant Sun – Crowded House
64. Human – The Human League
63. More Than Words – Extreme
62. Take A Bow – Madonna
61. Driftin’ Away – Garth Brooks
60. Sail Away – David Gray
59. You’re All I Need To Get By – Marvin Gaye & Tammi Terrell
58. Fields Of Gold – Sting
57. Let’s Stay Together – Al Green
56. Forever In My Life – Prince
55. Love Tried To Welcome Me – Madonna
54. Baby Come Back – Player
53. Insensitive – Jann Arden
52. One Last Cry – Brian McKnight
51. I Wish It Would Rain Down – Phil Collins
50. The Space Between – Dave Matthews Band
49. This Is For The Lover In You – Shalamar
48. The Closer I Get To You – Roberta Flack & Donny Hathaway
47. Just My Imagination (Running Away With Me) – The Temptations
46. Sail On – The Commodores
45. Distant Lover – Marvin Gaye
44. Hands To Heaven – Breathe
43. Moondance – Van Morrison
42. Wicked Game – Chris Isaak
41. Taking You Home – Don Henley
40. Missing You – John Waite
39. Doin’ Just Fine – Boyz II Men
38. The Beautiful Ones – Prince & The Revolution
37. When We Dance – Sting
36. Crazy For You – Madonna
35. Ex-Factor – Lauryn Hill
34. Tender Love – The Force MD’s
33. Brilliant Disguise – Bruce Springsteen
32. Endless Love – Diana Ross & Lionel Richie
31. I Keep Forgettin’ (Every Time You’re Near) – Michael McDonald
30. And So It Goes – Billy Joel
29. A Song For You – Donny Hathaway
28. You & I – Stevie Wonder
27. Lookin’ At The Front Door – Main Source
26. Single – Everything But The Girl
25. At This Moment – Billy Vera & The Beaters
24. One Step Up – Bruce Springsteen
23. Father Figure – George Michael
22. Every Breath You Take – The Police
21. Tell Her This – Del Amitri
20. Fire & Desire – Rick James & Teena Marie
19. How Come U Don’t Call Me Anymore? – Prince
18. With Or Without You – U2
17. Alison – Elvis Costello
16. Always & Forever – Heatwave
15. One More Try – George Michael
14. If You’re Gone – matchbox twenty
13. Can You Stand The Rain? – New Edition
12. Creep – Radiohead
11. All In Love Is Fair – Stevie Wonder
10. Nothing Compares 2 U – Sinead O’ Connor
9. Careless Whisper – Wham!
8. I’d Die Without You – PM Dawn
7. In Your Eyes – Peter Gabriel
6. A House Is Not Home – Luther Vandross
5. Time After Time – Cyndi Lauper –
4. Just To Keep You Satisfied – Marvin Gaye
3. How Deep Is Your Love – The Bee Gess
2. I Can’t Make You Love Me – Bonnie Raitt
1. Adore – Prince
101. “Go Your Own Way” Fleetwood Mac
100. “Give Me One Reason” Tracy Chapman
99. “She Loves You” The Beatles
98. “Golden Lady” Stevie Wonder
97. “I Will Buy You A New Life” Everclear
96. “Sail On” Lionel Richie
95. “I See Your Smile” Gloria Estefan
94. “Follow The Light” Travis
93. “Be Mine” R.E.M.
92. “Comedown” Toad The Wet Sprocket
91. “Tell Him” Celine Dion & Barbra Streisand
90. “My Hero” Foo Fighters
89. “Your Song” Elton John
88. “Daisy Jane” America
87. “Story Of A Girl” Nine Days
86. “Two Hearts” Phil Collins
85. “Exit Music (For A Film)” Radiohead
84. “Sweet Surrender” Sarah McLachlan
83. “Waste” Phish
82. “Look Away” Chicago
81. “The One You Love” Glenn Frey
80. “Sonnet” The Verve
79. “Light My Fire” The Doors
78. “Just Like Jesse James” Cher
77. “Babe” Styx
76. “Bad Time” Grand Funk Railroad
75. “I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles)” The Proclaimers
74. “Linger” Cranberries
73. “Never Tear Us Apart” INXS
72. “Overjoyed” Stevie Wonder
71. “I’ll Have To Say I Love You In A Song” Jim Croce
70. “Only In Dreams” Weezer
69. “Under The Bridge” Red Hot Chili Peppers
68. “Find Your Way Back” Michelle Branch
67. “We’ve Only Just Begun” The Carpenters
66. “Lady Love Me (One More Time)” George Benson
65. “Tonight, Tonight” Smashing Pumpkins
64. “Father Figure” George Michael
63. “Don’t Lose My Number” Phil Collins
62. “The End Will Come” Elton John
61. “Lost In Love” Air Supply
60. “Missing You” Dan Fogelberg
59. “Hole Hearted” Extreme
58. “Why Don’t You And I” Santana & Alex Band
57. “Too Late To Turn Back Now” Cornelius Bros. & Sister Rose
56. “I Know You’re Out There Somewhere” Moody Blues
55. “Again” Janet Jackson
54. “In The Absence of Sun” Duncan Sheik
53. “Down Low” R. Kelly
52. “Everything You Want” Vertical Horizon
51. “Godsend” DC Talk
50. “Better Man” Pearl Jam
49. “Remember The Time” Michael Jackson
48. “The Boy” Smashing Pumpkins
47. “Somebody’s Baby” Jackson Browne
46. “Tearin’ Up My Heart” N*Sync
45. “The World I Know” Collective Soul
44. “Building A Mystery” Sarah McLachlan
43. “Heartbreaker” Dionne Warwick
42. “If You Could Only See” Tonic
41. “More Than A Woman” Bee Gees
40. “Kiss From A Rose” Seal
39. “Turn Your Love Around” George Benson
38. “Lights” Journey
37. “This Is It” Kenny Loggins
36. “Don’t Let The Sun Go Down On Me” Elton John & George Michael
35. “Being With You” Smokey Robinson
34. “Prayer For The Dying” Seal
33. “Five Candles (You Were There)” Jars of Clay
32. “Head Over Heels” Tears For Fears
31. “Steal Away” Robbie Dupree
30. “Against All Odds” Phil Collins
29. “Love Of A Lifetime” Firehouse
28. “Everything I Do (I Do It For You)” Bryan Adams
27. “Here Comes My Girl” Tom Petty
26. “I Just Wanna Stop” Gino Vanelli
25. “Everlasting Love” Howard Jones
24. “These Dreams” Heart
23. “Circle of Life” Elton John
22. “Every Breath You Take” The Police
21. “Imagine” John Lennon
20. “I Know” Dionne Farris
19. “Hard Habit To Break” Chicago
18. “Beautiful Day” U2
17. “Even The Nights Are Better” Air Supply
16. “Stars” Simply Red
15. “Laughter In The Rain” Neil Sedaka
14. “Fortress Around Your Heart” Sting
13. “Alone” Heart
12. “Heart Hotels” Dan Fogelberg
11. “Time In A Bottle” Jim Croce
10.5) “Take On Me” A-Ha
10. “I’ll Be Around” Spinners
9. “I Love You” Climax Blues Band
8. “Quit Playing Games With My Heart” Backstreet Boys
7. “Crazy For This Girl” Evan & Jaron
6. “Superstar” The Carpenters
5. “Jealous Guy” John Lennon
4. “She’s Like The Wind” Patrick Swayze
3. “I Saw The Light” Todd Rundgren
2. “I Heard It Through The Grapevine” Marvin Gaye, Gladys Knight, and many others!
1. “Chains Of Love” Erasure
source: http://www.epinions.com/content_3768688772
PS. Did you consider a DJ? There’s a ton of wedding DJ’s around you know? Many of them gig with laptops though so if you prefer the old way of vinyl then it may take some asking around.
Thanks for the list. :)
We have talked a bit about a DJ, and we will fall back to that option if necessary, but are still hoping to make it work with a band. In my opinion, neither option is perfect, due to the following tradeoffs:
Live Band: Feels classier, and there’s just something special about live music, BUT you are limited by what the band knows how to play.
DJ: Can play just about anything (especially if you give them enough warning about CDs to acquire), BUT the music is canned, and there isn’t as strong of an emcee presence.
We’re still pursuing the band thing for now. We saw a cool band last week — they were much hipper than your average wedding band. :) So if things work out with them (fingers crossed), we’ll finally have this item crossed off the list.