Kenny and I spent the weekend in New York for the wedding of his college friend Dave and fiancee Jodi. We had two absolutely amazing encounters with TSA agents on our way home through JFK.
Amazing Encounter #1
We entered the security line and presented our IDs and boarding passes to the TSA agent. He studied Kenny’s ID, then his boarding pass, then his ID again with an inquisitive look on his face.
AGENT: Do you go by a different name than the one on your driver’s license?
KENNY: I go by Kenny.
AGENT: Well, that’s not what your license says. Your license says Kenneth but your boarding pass says Kenny. Do you have any documentation that states you are allowed to go by an alternate name? I can’t let you through without it.
KENNY: incredulous, unable to speak…
The TSA agent’s manager observes that there is some confusion and comes by to see what is afoot.
MANAGER: Can I help with something here?
AGENT: His boarding pass says Kenny, but his ID says Kenneth.
MANAGER: in a strong Brooklyn accent, Kenny is Kenneth. Kenneth is Kenny. It’s the same name. Shakes his head.
AGENT: Oh, okay…
Amazing Encounter #2
Once we had cleared the confused boarding pass agent, we emptied our belongings out onto the conveyor belt so that they could be X-rayed. As a gift to each of their wedding guests, Dave and Jodi had made personalized snow globes with photos of each guest. Ours featured a photo of us in front of the Parthenon. Since it contained liquid, I had decided to pack the snow globe in my Ziploc bag along with my toiletries. I had even joked to Kenny before we arrived at the airport that it would be hysterical if the snow globe got confiscated by security.
Sure enough, once my bin made its way through the X-ray machine, a TSA agent asked me if it was mine, and pulled out the snow globe. “You can’t take a snow globe on an airplane!” he scolded. “Why not?” I asked. Once again, a manager interfered, rolled his eyes at his underling, and told me to take the snow globe.
Don’t you feel safer knowing that the Department of Homeland Security is protecting us from lethal snow globes?
Via Daily Kos, it seems there have been some recent suspicions of terrorist dry runs involving some unorthodox but potentially explosive materials:
Airport security officers around the nation have been alerted by federal officials to look out for terrorists practicing to carry explosive components onto aircraft, based on four curious seizures at airports since last September.
…
seizures at airports in San Diego, Milwaukee, Houston and Baltimore included “wires, switches, pipes or tubes, cell phone components and dense clay-like substances,” including block cheese, the bulletin said. “The unusual nature and increase in number of these improvised items raise concern.”
I suppose if a hunk of gouda can be unsafe, one should not trust a snow globe.
I love ridiculous airport anecdotes! I didn’t have my sunscreen in a plastic bag once. It was a small keychain bottle of sunscreen, like an ounce and a half. It was my only liquid item, it just wasn’t in a plastic bag. They tried to confiscate it. I was drunk. Really drunk. I was in Hawaii, headed back to Oakland, and the guy said something like, “you won’t need this in Oakland.” I argued. I argued ’em up real good. They let me keep it, I think just to shut me up.
I got my Tybee Island snowglobe confiscated at the Savannah Georgia airport yesterday! I never even thought that it would be a problem. It was a small one, very cute. Didn’t realize it would be considered weaponry.
I had my small Statue of Libery snowglobe confiscated at JFK yesterday! How ridiculous that they think we’re stupid enough to believe that it is for safety measures! The security guard gently put it in the trash, after telling me I didn’t have enough time to go and check the bag. If I had checked it, it would have been broken by the baggage handlers! I am so angry over this. Mine was only $15 (plus tax, of course) but my girlfriend had one too, and hers was around $40. The handler even told her she would mail it to her only to be shot down by security! Then I noticed that after we got through there there was stuff in glass bottles for sale like alcohol and perfume! WTF? It has NOTHING to do with security and everything to do with trying to force you to buy crap from the airport! If it was a “security” issue, then pretty soon they’ll be telling us that people’s glasses could be used as a weapon, and making people take eyesight checks to verify that they need glasses. The same thing goes with water- there is nothing in a sealed bottle of water that could be dangerous- but the Pro Active I saw for sale has chemicals in it that could burn your eyes, same as perfume!
This country has got to pull it’s head out of it’s ass and start taking back the rights we have as citizens of a supposedly free nation!
BTW, I am sending a bill to Delta, the FAA, and the White House. Maybe it’s time someone wakes up and realizes that they have gone too far! People need to start demanding that we quit being treated like terrorists and start being treated like citizens of a country that relys on it’s tax payers to bail their butts out every time we turn around!
I think it’s important to keep in mind that these sorts of “possibly helpful” security policies are *not okay*. Just my two cents, but I’m stickin’ to them until I see a reason to believe differently. :-)
Oh, and my watermelon was just confiscated. This is the pits. ;-)
I was in Atlanta for a church conference this past week and I bought my mother a snow globe at the Georgia Aquarium. I didn’t know that you couldn’t take a snow globe in the carry-on until I went through security and they told me that I couldn’t take it through. Fortunately, security told me that I could go to post office in the Atlanta airport and mail it which I did.